My room smells like vodka and shame
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Captain America poster fell down. Cap is disappointed in my life decisions.
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
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