the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
I will not hesitate to go down on a dick for some cream soda.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Did you know that scruff feels epic on boobs especially when they are covered in whip cream?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
Nothing quite like pre-gaming the Kentucky Derby with adderall and adderall. I'm fairly confident I could outrun all of these fucking horses in a foot race right now.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
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