some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Is it awkward to ask someone I've slept with to officiate my wedding?
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dear god how many nuts did u bust in me my vagina feels like a bowl of jello.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Captain Morgan does not know self control. Nor does he teach it.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
He's nice and all but I think I rather masturbate my way to happiness instead.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize