I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Tried to drunkenly hop a fence with my cast on to get away from the cops but ended up falling over a bench.. how do I explain those bruises to my parents?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I just slammed another champagne, swaggered over to her, pointed across the room at the 20 y/o lacrosse player and whispered loudly, "I brought that one for YOU." I'm getting a raise.
Watching Rudolph while stoned is practically a religious experience.
I FOUND THE LEGS
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
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