I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
i just masturbated with purell and my dick burns and smells like a hospital
I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
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