Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
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