You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
Pants are for mortals
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
so horny i almost want to text him..and then i remember the restraining order i have against him
Randomize