the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
i woke up to my roommate spraying cooking spray on my legs. fourth time this has happened. not cool.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
Randomize