I cannot find my penis.
yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
oh hey summer self, welcome to endless thirsty thursdays and walks of shame.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I'm pretty stoned, and for a second I forgot that I'm not actually Barbie and I was getting excited about all the fun we were going to have on my jet.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
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