Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
I'd like to personally thank you for not letting anyone puke in any of the salad bowls this time
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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