Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
this guy is so high, he just ate half of a frozen blueberry muffin and half of a frozen poppyseed muffin, then proceeded to make a "hybrid poppyberry muffin"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Randomize