Plan B is the new Plan A
I wish i was in the wii world.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
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I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly man. Who needs doctors when you have vodka and hot knives.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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