it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
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I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
How was my weekend? I just blew my nose and a gram of coke fell out. My weekend was fantastic.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
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When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
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