I just saw a 3 year old try to break out of a daycare by driving a big wheel at full speed into a metal gate. Today is going to be epic.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I just saw a van full of amish parents and their kids. Those cheating mother fuckers!
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
i wasnt sure i had a crush on her until i woke up this morning and saw i had googled fifteen variations of "lesbian marriage in estonia". where the fuck is estonia
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
Randomize
