My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
Missing both credit cards and just had a flashback of grinding my nuts on the terrified cab driver for amusement. i am feeling a slight hate for myself right now.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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