he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
she has a picture of her daughter riding a giant rooster.. of course i want to make obscene cock jokes
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
Babe. You eat pussy like a god warrior sent from a galaxy far far away to destroy female genitalia with new realms of pleasure. That's how I know your not gay.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
Meanwhile I'm googling glory holes in Vegas
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
So high I legit spent 20mins in the shower just holding my tits cuz they feel bigger than normal.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
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