Ben affleck wants to be a US senator. Just thought you would puke with me
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
Randomize