I want to stick my p in your. b.
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wish there was a 'silent except for booty calls' volume level on my phone
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
Just took 11th shot of tequila. I may puke in my bear head.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
you told me I was being patronizing because I didn't want you to run barefoot across a construction site
how early is too early to start drinking over the gilmore girls revival
I tried to text you about going to the Lion's Den but sent it to my boss. She was down for it. Please advise.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
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