Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
I was seriously concerned she had died since she wasn't moving at all, but then I asked here where she was last night and her response was to hip thrust the air.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
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