Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I couldnt bring myself to steal alcohol from my dead grandma
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
Last night was a bad idea. I'm hungover and the contents of my purse smell like Korean BBQ.
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