I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Did you bedazzle the elevator?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I could fuck to npr.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
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