my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
Wow I really just sharted up in this Kroger
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