i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
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