Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Lobby closes at 2 AM on Thursday, but everyone walking still wants food... I could run a "Taco Bell Taxi" when I clock off at 2 and charge a dollar to give drunks a ride through drive thru.
Someones thought of a way to afford tuition.
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
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