was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
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