So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I'm about to enter vancouver's biggest liquor store. I feel like I should sent you a "wish you were here" postcard.
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Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
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Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
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