Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
if women knew the size of my dick, theyd be much more receptive to my sloppy drunken advances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
The playlist was "songs to sing in the shower". I literally got fucked to Footloose.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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