His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
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