He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Just cropdusted the office
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
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