hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he doesnt believe in the female orgasm,so no I did not have sex with him.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You started yelling about vegans ruining the world. Because we drove past some cows eating grass.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
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