Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
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we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Hate is such a strong word! I prefer to think that you strongly dislike me due to the honesty I show towards your routine shortcomings of success in life.
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
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Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
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