The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I checked into jail on foursquare
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
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