3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
evidently tequilla and lady gaga make me flirt and grind shamlessly with other men infront of my boyfriend.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
I world jack off literally anyone now that I'm not related to.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
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