yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I was just laughing and almost crying after I orgasmed, and then almost crying because I was laughing so hard. That's new.
Does he think you're psycho?
Officially...... yes.
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
Randomize