I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
I'm lying topless with an eye infection at the foot of my bed with a dog between my legs. With disney in the background. Its one of those 3 am moments
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
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