She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
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I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
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I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
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