To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize