i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
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