drinking warm bud heavies i found in the garage and googling how to tell the gosselin kids apart.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
saying that you may be able to suck the gay out of me was just my way of getting a blowjob...thank you for the valiant effort.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
For the first time in my life, I still have money by the next payday. Who is this responsible person and what have they done with the real me?
We are totally like Jim and Pam, except ya know, drunk and not together anymore.
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