come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Dear Beer Goggles, it's time to see the eye doctor. With love, your biggest fan.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Of course I fucked him. He was wearing a rainbow cock sock and cowboy boots.
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize