What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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