And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If, when you wake up, you're wondering why you're in the bathtub, it's because when I tried to move you, you yelled that that was cheating and tried to kick me in the face.
Fair enough.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Holy Hangover.. I'm marrying whoever put this water by my bed
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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