You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I'm pretty sure we've had sex a bunch more times than we've hugged. So hugs are weird when they happen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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