I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
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For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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