it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
Chasing tequila with honey. Ill let you know how it turns out.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I want to be your penis for a week.
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Nothing says girls night like wine cheese and pregnancy tests 😂
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
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