i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys bombarded us in the bathroom and that kid whipped his dick out and peed in the sink.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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