dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
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