Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think I'll get the "I used to stick it to your daughter" discount?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
& I came downstairs to find my whole family discussing the fact that I have a vibrator, which my mom found accidentally....
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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