I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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