Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
Hospital. He tried giving some kid a stone cold stunner during a real fight.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He brought wine and beer. I'll put my pants on for wine and beer.
I need to have some sort of hot sex experience in a mask.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
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