ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
Fyi mom and I voted and you're the DD tonight, congratulations
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
I smoked all his weed and he hasn't noticed yet. But I might need a place to crash when he does
Ok so I'm not gonna ignore the fact that you had sex on a frat basement floor and spent the last 4 years wondering how you got HPV
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
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